I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Randomize
