my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
Randomize
