thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
Randomize
