we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
