why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Randomize