I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
Randomize
