so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
Randomize
