I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
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