okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
Randomize
