you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
Randomize
