That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
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