I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
Randomize
