I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
Randomize
