i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
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