end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
Randomize
