let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
Randomize
