I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
If I die, sorry about rent.
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
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