Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
So squirting runs in the family.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
Randomize
