He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Randomize
