do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
My bed smells like the plague
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
