I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
Randomize
