I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
I am available for nakedness
Randomize
