So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
Randomize
