you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Randomize
