yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Randomize
