small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Randomize
