why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
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