I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
