The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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