ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Randomize
