He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize