Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Randomize
