Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
