i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
Randomize
