You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
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