I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
Randomize
