don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
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