This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
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