So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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