What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
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