As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Randomize