It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
Randomize
