its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
Randomize
