so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
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