Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Randomize
