Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
Randomize
