Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼‍♀️
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
Randomize
