I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
