Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Randomize
