just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
Randomize
