Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
