sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
Randomize
