Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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