You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Randomize
