I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
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