awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
porn star boner night. come get it.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize
