I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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