rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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