Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
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