hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
Randomize
