she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
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