Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
Randomize
