U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
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