Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
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