u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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