Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
we made out on top of his cat.
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
Randomize