You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
Randomize
