I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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