bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
Randomize
