We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
Randomize
