I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize
