Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
We have so much sex to catch up on
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Randomize
