you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Randomize
