Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
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