Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Randomize